Early walk today? Best check the weather. As usual didn’t finish all the stuff I planned yesterday–did get a lot of cooking done though. Long call with Mom and Dad. Mom looked alarmed when I started talking about looking for a new job–surprising as I’ve mentioned the idea several times in the past few weeks. Have to live my life my way, though, regardless of the approval of others. The world is a different place than when Mom and Dad were corporates. By the time I’m 65 it’ll be 2049–a long way off, impossible to know what the world will look like then. Rising seas? Rising inequality? Migration, starvation? Impossible to bet my current life on a future that might look nothing like it. What will I do to make a better one? These are the questions now, not how to return to status quo. But I feel too dull to make any decisions at all: I just want to retreat into my little life of baking, writing, small handmade arts, and leave the confrontational sweep of the world to pass by. But it will seek me out anyway, that’s the point, you can’t hide from the monsters forever, they find you. Work is wearing me, not bearing me up. But perhaps no work is energy-giving, perhaps that’s the point. I believe in better, I just need to know where to look for it.