The news from America continues to be very, very, very difficult to watch. I told myself I couldn’t look at my phone after 11 but found myself at 1 AM scrolling through news that the current occupant of the White House has threatened to use military force on its own citizens. Very hard to sleep after that. Yesterday Reg asked me how I was and I responded saying my cousin works for the TV news station in Louisville where a reporter was shot by the police. His response was to say how annoyed he is with teachers because they’re all being lazy by not going back to school. So callous and dismissive. Was he trying to empathize? “We’ve all got problems?” Or minimise? “Your problems are comparable to this minor annoyance I have?” So unclear. In any case: shocking and very hurtful. I certainly won’t really tell him how I’m doing again but my god the callousness…I don’t know whether to say something or to say nothing. I feel very unsettled by this. I want someone to talk to. I really am torn about whether to say something to Reg but I certainly can’t do that until I know how I want that encounter to go. Everything feels very out of control and I don’t want to exacerbate things. Oh, my heart. How will I get through the day?